Failure is really subjective. I've recently become a fan of The Simpsons, and "Bart Gets an F" sort of tugged at my heartstrings because what some of us define as failure is the best for others, and it took a spiky-haired cartoon character for that to fully set in. As many of you already know, I've been going through a lot this year, but what I've failed to mention is how this has affected my college experience. After all, I'm going through my freshman year like the rest of the 2017 class, yet I have been pretty indifferent to it. For one thing, my "college experience" has been a little different since I go to school online. While I may not be getting a law degree from DeVry or some goofy shit like that, I had trouble really considering myself a college student because I wasn't living on campus and dodging spiked party drinks or skateboarding in between classes. The God honest truth is that I don't feel I've learned much either. All I know is I passed everything except World Civ I and that I've finally learned to navigate virtual learning (In all fairness, it's not like it's super difficult. There were just too many days I wanted to focus on things that mattered more to me than doing discussion boards with my "classmates".).
I guess what I'm saying is that I really had the wrong attitude going through this entire semester. I've been taking more L's personally than academically, which is good. While still being able to write and work full time, I'm still able to work toward a degree, which is something I should be grateful for. The truth, though? I'm a sucker for tradition and still feel in some major ways I'm missing out. That being said, I'm going to give a little insight to anyone possibly wondering what life after high school has been like thus far.
1. You decide how your time is spent. All of it. This is really weird because there were a lot of days I'd be at work and just think like, "I can walk out right now. I won't have money later, but I don't have to do this." It's super trippy. It's like the entire time you're in school, your own time management is sort of a forbidden fruit, but then you graduate and can like...do shit on your own accord, and it's such a powerful thought until practicality sets in and is like, "Nah, fam, finish this shift out with your broke arse."
2. No one cares that you just got out of high school and don't have credit. Okay, so more than likely you're a senior right now with no job because you're focused on school or your parents pretty much provide the necessities as well as a few good leisures. That being said, once you're out of school and want a car to either get you to your job in college or just to ride around in and do hoodrat stuff with your friends, if you don't have cash to just buy one, you'll more than likely try to get a loan. Since you have no credit history (and let's assume no one with credit is willing to cosign for you), you're a major risk and will face a lot of rejections on that front. My advice would be to open a credit line now. A card with a very small credit limit, for example. I feel like guardians would possibly be more helpful on that front, but everyone's situation is different, so I really can't call it. Just know you'll need to try and get that in order as soon as possible.
3. You can have sex without sneaking. Just be careful. Always use protection and if it's agreed between you and your partner(s) that no one is supposed to catch feelings, don't catch feelings. Also, consent is stated, never assumed.
4. You will learn your biggest strengths and weaknesses because you're on your own time. That being said, once you know them, adapt your plans and lifestyle to make sure you get everything done that needs to be.
5. Jobs are not easy to come by. If you want one, I would suggest not using any illegal substances until you're hired. That means during the job hunt, the wait for the interview, etc, keep clean. This should be common sense, but hey.
6. Remember that you are just as capable as the next person. A huge struggle I had with adjusting to adulthood was wanting to get reassurance from everyone else that I was on the right track. There's nothing wrong with this in moderation or when your spirits are low, but don't assume that you can't make the grades you want, get the job you want, or have the relationships you want. You can. You just have to work with what is given to you and understand that your life is important. What you want out of this life is important, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
7. Take care of yourself. My mantra for the beginning part of this year was "The objective is to keep moving" because I feel like when we're stagnant and allow things to pile up, it becomes way harder to maneuver than when we're already in motion and making things happen. Wipe your makeup off before you go to sleep. Moisturize your hair. Give yourself a compliment. Let your barber line you up. MASTURBATE REGULARLY.
8. You can't drink it away. You can't party it away. You can't study it away. Whatever personal problems have manifested prior to you coming into adulthood and have not been addressed will remain. Try to tackle them as soon as you can now that you've got your own time to do so.
9. It's okay to change your mind. If you want to be someone different, okay. (Just make sure it's for the right reasons) If you want to stop being friends with certain people or take up different hobbies, it is positively alright. Do you on you. If you change what you want out of life multiple times a week, it is okay. Acknowledge that you don't have all the answers and that a degree, a job, or a relationship will not change that.
10. Create playlists. For the shower. For car rides. For studying. Keep some tunes that make you feel good or put you in the right mood for what you have to do. Attach a certain memory to a certain song. Listen to that song when you want to go back to that place mentally. Music is everywhere and is a major part of our existence. Why would we not include it when wanting to help shape our lives?
