It's 2019, and what we're not doing is....

Keeping our toxic family members in our lives "just because they're blood." If you can't avoid it, I don't blame you. This is for the people that can and choose not to.

Letting people mispronounce our names. AN*DREE*UH is not hard to say, and I'm correcting everyone all 2019. You should too. I don't care how difficult your name is. If they've heard you say it more than once, they can learn it. 

 Letting people shit all over our pronouns. (Flashback to a few weeks ago when I misgendered Adri's video game character. Yikes, Andrea)

Staying in unhealthy relationships because we think we don't deserve better. Torture yourself on your own time. You don't have to allow someone else to. 

Letting people touch us without permission or not speaking up when they do. (Creepy girl at work puts her hand on your shoulder. Tell her to move it.)   

Assuming women are trustworthy. Shitty people come in all forms. I think gender norms give us this image of hypermasculinity as normal for men and nurturing behavior as normal for women. No. Always be vigilant of who's in your space.

Spending all our money.

Giving more than we get. Match everyone's energy cause, hunty, if you do not you'll keep having to post cryptic Tweets about ya social circle.

Idealizing this "future" version of ourselves instead of doing things we believe that person would do. 

Petty

"Anything I like goes in the cart. I might spend it all to prove a point..." --Chun Swae, Nicki Minaj feat Swae Lee

The word "petty" is overused and annoying as hell now. It's kind of like "problematic." The terminology is now so redundant and misused that really when something is labelled as such it's almost difficult to give it credibility. Some things I think are petty: coworkers. They're weird as shit. I've never had a job where I liked all or even half of my coworkers. I think it's petty to pseudo-apologize to someone for something you know you did wrong. You know the types of apologies I'm talking about. It's the ones where they're apologizing, but they're still blaming you for whatever they did. 

What I don't think is petty? Unfollowing and/or blocking people on social media. There's literally nothing attached to that I can even say is petty. You think this couple is annoying? Block. You've already ignored this guy's DMs twice, and he's still trying? Block. He/She is posting super cringe material? B L O C K. I don't even keep up with my followers. I know they fluctuate consistently. Every time I post, I lose and/or gain some followers, but hey. People have every right to guard their intake, and if they don't want me as a part of their intake, that's completely fine. 

Now I will be candid as I always am on this blog. I'll unfollow or block anyone for the aforementioned reasons, but I'll also do it to avoid being negative myself.

Let me clarify.

Let's say I'm at a time in my life where I'm really unhappy. Things are just not going right no matter what I do. If there's a person (or some people) that seem super duper happy all on the TL (even if it isn't true), I may have to mute them for a bit to avoid comparisons or sending negativity their way. At the end of the day, it is extremely hard for me to be cheerful for other people when my life sucks. That's a character flaw I'm not actively working on, but I do know it needs to get better. (To clarify, this doesn't include my really close friends. I can always be happy for them because I love them, but even their good news can sometimes skew me a little).

The bottom line is this. We're all growing and evolving. The less we make things seem like personal attacks, the more happy and productive we can be. It will also make it easier so that when we actually are attacked, we know we're not in the wrong for standing up for ourselves. 

Be good and watch your intake.

xoxo, Drea

Possible Blog Change????

Alright so I don't know if it's because bitches are nosey or what, BUT it seems my more personal entries are preferred. Since I said I'd come through being an even badder bitch this year (as I do every year. I really just get better with age.), I'm determined to promote my blog more.

Alright, honies. I like the idea of the blog being a "mixtape metaphor." I'm just kind of sick of numbering tracks. I don't know what my next theme will be, and I'm always open to ideas, but you guys don't really interact with me like I wish you would, so I never know exactly what you want. I've long promised a blog entry dealing with porn industry racism, and I still intend to do that, but damn if I do all this research, are you guys actually even going to spend time reading it? That's all I want to know.

This year is going to bring a lot of changes to my personal life and one of those changes includes living with my significant other. I'm excited for this because we have what was referred to in my communications class as a "symmetrical interpersonal relationship." Meaning we're pretty much on the same wavelength all across the board. I like that. I like the idea that I will have my partner alongside me adulting without being invasive or problematic to my space and well-being. I am finally happy despite the fact that I am mentally exhausted a majority of the time. I'll probably feel better once my student refund drops. Money makes my psyche a dozen times better.

I have to go to my part-time today (I mean as I do every weekend), but GOOD GOD I DO NOT FEEL LIKE GOING. I really just need to sleep for about two weeks, and then I could come back and be the Andrea I need to be. Seeing as that's impossible, however, I hope you guys had a better week than me.

xoxo, Drea