10+8

"Wonderin' what's on yo mind. It must be hard to be that fine when all these motherfuckas wanna waste your time..."-Drake Melody, Somo

I honestly am repulsed at the fact my body does not physically allow me to cry when I'm alone. If I do, it's one of those minor sniffle, wet cheeks sort of thing. I can only get a full blown wail when I'm with my parents, and that's never fun. Their advice to my aching is always, "There's no need to cry about it." God, it makes me feel like an overgrown toddler. I know they mean well, but I wish my emotions didn't cause an obvious distress to them. At eighteen, the plan was to had saved up boucoups of money and move out of mom's house. The issue? I didn't get a job until seventeen and abused the hell out of having a steady income.

It's just now beginning to formulate a serious issue for me. I've come to the realization that all the things I grew a bitterness for are unnecessary. Therefore the couple thousands I've spent on fast food, clothes that don't even fit my new body, phones, and other useless things, I now understand could've been managed way better....of course I realized this one bankruptcy too late because now my money is no longer mine to just store away. It all has to be paid out to something, and the little amount I will be able to keep, I'll do so fervently.

If you're anything like me, you know got bullied for not rocking labels, staying in your tax bracket, etc, understand this clearly. It. Does. Not. Matter. You can't take it with you, so if you're going to waste money you earn, purchase experiences. Go somewhere with friends. Hell, go alone if you have a vehicle. Do something that is at least storytelling worthy. My supreme pizza purchases are hardly worth discussing or writing about. Only one served as inspiration for a poem, and it was the delivery wait that compelled me to write, not the pizza itself.

I'm hoping I have no exceptionally young readers, but if so, please understand the value of a dollar. Don't worship it, don't think it makes you more important than the person without it, but do understand it is necessary to move on from one place to another. To quote Diamond, my favorite fictional stripper, "Make the money. Don't let it make you."